Friday, March 16, 2012

Brain Injury Awareness Month

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month and tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day.  Am I the only one seeing a disconnect here? 

St. Patrick’s Day is one of the High Holy Days for inebriants (In fact, I think it’s the only one).
Not only is “binge till blotto” assumed on that day, it’s widely encouraged.  I can’t think of another day when you can see someone in a green (or any color) shirt staggering down the street, wasted, at 10:00am and think “Oh, it must be St. Patrick’s Day!”   Even on New Year’s Eve, we generally wait till dinnertime.

Not that I’m against this last vestige of the bacchanalia, I’m only commenting on Brain Injury Awareness Month.

Overheard at the Bar
Concerned Inebriant: Do you know how many brain cells you lose when you get wasted?
Wasted Inebriant:  Do you know how many brain cells you have???  Kagillions!!!

Tomorrow, when you find yourself desperately trying to figure out how many commas there are in a kagillion, put down that jaeger-bomb and walk away to fight another day, or…

If you think you know how many commas there are in a kagillion, try this simple test:

Things That Are Difficult to Say When Drunk:

Things That Are Very Difficult to Say When Drunk:

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When Drunk:
Quite the lovely evening for a drive isn't it Officer.
I suppose we could…but I think that would be wrong.
I’m sorry, but I promised myself I wouldn’t take anyone home tonight.

Give yourself a point for each statement correctly made to an attractive member of the
opposite (or same) sex and be honest in your scoring.

Less than 3 points:  Take the next cab home before you hurt yourself
3-6 points:  Hand over your keys and your drink, but stay to sing the cool drinking songs.
6-9 points:  Start drinking again, you're obviously doing something wrong!  

     Have a great, and safe, St. Patrick’s Day!

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